


if you're ready, like i'm ready

by vlieger



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-01
Updated: 2013-03-01
Packaged: 2017-12-04 00:37:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/704452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vlieger/pseuds/vlieger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you-- wait a minute," said Liam. "You're not here so I'll actually deal with it, you're here so that when management <i>tries</i> to deal with it I'll be your-- your shotgun marriage advocate, or something."</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you're ready, like i'm ready

**Author's Note:**

> written for the 1d bigbang! fanmix by the wonderful nicky [here](http://delugedpapercup.livejournal.com/11162.html).
> 
> thank you to [cathedralhearts](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cathedralhearts) for her amazing beta! ♥

It wasn't like Liam had the most normal life ever, but really he was dealing pretty well with all the crazy.

Things like Louis pushing a reluctant-looking Harry into his hotel room with a hand glued to the small of his back were pretty common occurrences.

So were whispered, utterly unsubtle exchanges like, "Tell him," and, "No, _you_ tell him, wanker."

He'd even come to expect stupid things like Harry sighing and widening his eyes to make them oh so innocent (and therefore the most devious thing ever) and saying, "Um. So we-- we got married."

Liam rolled his eyes. "That's nice," he said, looking back at his laptop.

He caught Harry and Louis eyeing each other in his peripheral and rolled his eyes again. Really, if they wanted to surprise anyone, let alone the rest of the band, they were running out of options.

"Liam, we're serious," said Louis after a moment.

"Uh huh," said Liam, nodding.

Harry frowned and elbowed Louis.

Louis shrugged helplessly, then brightened visibly. "Oh hey, wait a minute!" he said, shoving both hands into one of his pockets.

Liam tilted his head. How Louis even managed that was beyond him; those pants were pretty fucking tight.

"Ah ha!" said Louis triumphantly, brandishing a crumpled piece of paper.

"For fuck's sake," said Liam, reaching a hand out wearily. "What is this, your vows or something?"

"He promised to love me til my hair goes straight," said Harry, wrapping both his arms around Louis' left elbow.

"I did," said Louis, smiling at him.

Liam looked down at the piece of paper mostly so he wouldn't have to look at the pair of them.

"Wait a minute," he said slowly. It was…shit. _Shit_. "Is this-- " His voice went disturbingly high; he cleared his throat and tried again. "Is this _real?_ "

"We _told_ you," said Harry.

"You." Liam laughed a little hysterically and palmed a hand over his forehead. "Guys, you say shit like this _all the time._ It's enough-- people already-- you actually _got married?_ Like, legally?"

Harry bit down on his lip, looking guilty.

"To be honest, we came to you first because we thought you'd handle it better than this," said Louis.

Liam pointed at him, shaking his head. "Shut up," he said. "You don't get to criticise how I handle it when you're the one who went and got married. Were you at least pissed?"

"Of course we were," said Louis, snorting derisively.

"Okay," said Liam. He breathed out and looked at them through narrowed eyes. Louis had his shirt on inside-out and his hair was a complete mess; Harry's was marginally tidier but his eyes were tired and heavy and his bottom lip was swollen, probably from…actually, Liam didn't want to think about how that happened.

It helped though, the sight of them, to level his head and remember that someone had to be at least mildly rational here. "Wait a minute…did either of you tweet about it? Harry?"

"I don't think so?" said Harry, pulling his phone from his pocket with a frown. He kept his arms looped around Louis' the entire time, which. Okay. "No," he added. He sounded surprised.

"Good," said Liam. "Well, that's good, guys, okay. So as long as there are no photos, you can get a quickie divorce and pretend like this never happened, right?"

Harry glanced at Louis.

Louis tilted his head at him, frowning.

Sometimes Liam really hated those stupid wordless conversations they did. " _Right_ , guys?"

"Um," said Harry.

Louis cleared his throat. "Well, the thing is-- "

"What _thing_ ," said Liam. "You just waltzed in here to tell me you got married, there can't be a thing."

"But I-- I love him," said Louis.

Liam stared at him. "You what," he said.

"Shut up, you knew that," said Louis, flushing a little and not meeting anyone's eyes.

Harry was biting down on his lip, mostly failing at holding in a smile. "I don't want a divorce," he said.

"Guys," said Liam.

"No, look," said Louis. "It'd be _weird_ , okay, we can't be together and divorced, that's…not right."

Liam was silent for a very long moment, just breathing. "Okay," he said at last. "I've made the executive decision that I am not going to be the one to deal with this. Go talk to management."

"Management," said Louis, sounding like it tasted bad in his mouth.

"They'll make us get divorced," said Harry miserably.

"Are you-- wait a minute," said Liam. "You're not here so I'll actually deal with it, you're here so that when management _tries_ to deal with it I'll be your-- your shotgun marriage advocate, or something."

"Well, we need your support," said Harry.

"Yeah, we can't do something unless the band's okay with it," said Louis.

Liam stared at him. "You got _married_ ," he said.

"It was an accident!" said Louis, throwing up his hands.

"So un-accident it!" said Liam.

"No," said Louis.

"Are you really not okay with it," said Harry. "Like, properly not okay?"

Liam blinked. "That's not fair," he said.

"It's a legitimate question," said Louis.

"I-- of course I'm okay with it," said Liam. "In principle. I just-- you know this isn't going to go down well. You know this isn't part of any plan anyone had for us."

"Why can't we have our own plans?" said Harry.

"Harry." Liam sighed. "I'm not saying you can't, I'm just. Trying to make this easy."

"Maybe we don't want easy," said Louis.

"Fine!" said Liam. "That's good then, because it won't be. You'll have to fight it out with management first, and then…I don't even know where you want to go with this, guys. Do you want to go _public?_ "

"I." Louis glanced at Harry, who looked lost.

"I just don't want to get divorced," he said quietly.

"Well." Liam scrubbed a hand through his hair. "It just-- it's not that easy. I know it sucks, but you can't just carry on like normal."

"But." Louis bit down on his lip. "But no one knows, so why-- "

"Lou." Liam closed his eyes. Jesus. So maybe he wasn't quite as equipped to deal with the crazy as he'd thought. "You got _married._ It's official. It's on documents and it happened in public, so just because no one's outed you yet doesn't mean they won't."

There was a long silence. "We were going to do it eventually," said Harry quietly to Louis.

Louis looked at him. "Yeah," he said slowly. "Yeah, but. This is-- I don't want to do it because we _have_ to."

"I want to," said Harry, his voice still low. "You know that."

Louis pulled his lip between his teeth, looking pained. "I don't want…I don't want it to suck," he said.

"I know," said Harry. "It will though. For a bit."

"Yeah, but." Liam saw his hand clenching unconsciously around Harry's. "What if you-- Haz, you already get knocked out just by being famous in a band."

"I'm fine," said Harry, frowning.

"You're not," said Louis. "You're exhausted. Look at you."

"So are you," retorted Harry. His mouth was turned down unhappily at the corners.

"I _know_ ," said Louis. "That's not-- look, I just don't want it to be because of _me,_ okay?"

"What do you _mean?_ " said Harry. "I told you, I want to."

"Yeah," said Louis, "And what if everyone gives you so much shit that I just…get shit too?"

Harry stared at him. "Make sense," he demanded eventually.

" _This_ ," said Louis harshly, leaning in and kissing him. Liam blinked. That…was a lot of tongue; Louis had a hand in Harry's hair, holding him in place, and he was pressing in almost viciously.

"Um," said Liam, snapping to life and looking away.

When Louis finally pulled away and Liam glanced back, Harry looked a little dazed and just as baffled and also very thoroughly kissed. "Lou," he said, "Remember when I told you to make sense, all that time ago?"

"I don't want you to figure out this isn't worth it," said Louis, barely above a whisper.

"…Oh," said Harry.

Something tightened, breathless and a little painful, in Liam's chest.

"Lou," said Harry. He still looked lost, just in a different way, like he did sometimes when he was struggling to find words in an interview. In the end he just leaned in to kiss Louis again, softer than Louis had kissed him but thorough, not letting up until Louis looked a little less pained. "I won't," added Harry when he pulled back.

"You're only eighteen, Haz," said Louis softly.

"You're only twenty," said Harry.

"Oh my fucking God," said Liam.

Louis and Harry looked at him, blinking, like they'd forgotten he was there.

"What?" said Louis.

"Take your own advice, is what," said Liam.

They furrowed their brows at him in tandem.

Liam rolled his eyes. "You're _young_ ," he said. "You just got accidentally married because for some unfathomable reason you're in love enough that you actually thought it was a good idea. Stop acting like it's the end of the world. Or your-- your relationship."

"Hang on a minute," said Louis indignantly. " _You're_ the one who was making a big deal out of it."

"I was not," said Liam. "I was just surprised. You can't blame me for that."

"You told us to get divorced!" said Louis. "That's a big deal."

"Yeah, but I think I've realised it's kind of impossible this won't get out somehow," said Liam. He leaned forward a little, pitching his voice low and serious. "Look, guys, in the end I just-- we all just want you to be happy. We're not going to make you get divorced if you don't want to. All I'm trying to do is make sure you know what you're going into."

"But," said Harry, "Management."

"Yeah," said Liam. He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know, it's-- I can't say I have experience with something like this. I guess just…just don't let them bully you?"

"Yeah," said Harry, biting down on his lip. His eyes were distant, worried.

"Forget about that for now though," said Liam, brightening. "You have to tell Zayn and Niall first. And I get to watch."

 

The other guys' reactions were both entirely expected and…not.

Niall said, "Oh," and looked disturbingly heart-eyed.

"Seriously?" said Liam.

"What?" said Niall, crossing his arms defensively. "It's sweet. Look at them."

He had a point, but. Liam was just glad there was someone mildly practical amongst them. He tried to imagine a band consisting solely of Niall, Louis and Harry, and shuddered.

Zayn just laughed.

"Hey," said Harry, looking mildly offended.

"You're _married_ ," said Zayn, grinning. "That's…that's…you're _married_."

"Okay, yeah, they're married," said Liam. "The problem now is what to do about it."

"Divorce, duh," said Zayn.

"Fuck off," said Niall. "They don't have to get divorced."

"I always liked you best," said Harry to Niall.

"Hey," said Louis.

"I haven't slept with him, don't worry," said Harry.

Louis pinched him.

"Wait a minute," said Zayn, holding up a hand and looking at Harry. "Don't you _want_ to get divorced?"

"No," said Harry and Louis together.

Zayn glanced at Liam.

"You see my dilemma," said Liam, nodding.

"It's not a dilemma," said Louis.

"It sort of is," said Liam.

"Okay, okay, hang on," said Niall, holding up a hand. "Lads, I mean, if they don't want to get divorced, then we have to stick with them."

"Obviously," said Zayn. "Doesn't mean I can't try to talk them out of it first."

"It won't work," said Liam tiredly.

"…Okay," said Zayn eventually. "But what-- what are you going to do?"

"We haven't got that far," said Harry.

"Well, I think you should do it again and let me be the best man this time," said Niall. "I'm completely offended you didn't ask me last night."

 

Harry was kind of quiet the rest of the day. He didn't look upset, exactly, more like anxious; he kept glancing at Louis like he just wanted to make sure he was still there, or.

Liam wasn't sure exactly what was going on until Harry said to him, quietly when Louis went to the bathroom, "It was always me who wanted to…you know, go properly public, more than he did. I don't want to-- " He bit down on his lip and trailed off.

"Harry," said Liam, putting a hand on his shoulder. "The guy _married_ you."

"We were pissed," said Harry, shrugging.

"Yeah, but." Liam shrugged. "He wants to _stay_ married to you. I'm pretty sure he knows what that means. He's just worried about you. The two of you. That's normal."

"Yeah," said Harry.

"What are you talking about?" said Louis, dropping back onto the sofa next to Harry and throwing an arm over his shoulder, grinning. "Come on, you're not allowed to hide anything from your husband."

Harry smiled at him. "You," he said.

"Really?" said Louis interestedly, pinching Harry's neck.

Harry tilted his head so his temple was resting against Louis'. "We should talk to management," he said.

Louis' grin faltered slightly. "Yeah," he said.

"I mean, we don't, if you-- "

"No, we should," said Louis firmly, brightening again.

"Okay," said Harry.

"I want to," said Louis.

"Okay," said Harry again.

Louis narrowed his eyes at him. "Do _you_ want to?" he said.

Harry lifted one shoulder. "I want to stay married, so yes," he said. "But we don't-- do _you_ really want to?"

"Oh my God," said Liam. "If you don't shut up _I'll_ do it."

Louis threw a pillow at him. " _You_ shut up, we're working through our issues like a proper married couple."

"This is going to be hell, isn't it?" said Liam wearily.

"It wasn't already?" said Harry blankly.

"What?" said Louis, staring at him with wide eyes.

"I mean for them," said Harry. "We're sort of annoying."

"We are not, we're adorable," said Louis.

"I know," said Harry.

Liam buried his face in the pillow.

 

He stood over Louis' shoulder about half an hour later while he scheduled a meeting for the next morning. They didn't have a show until that night, so it left a few hours' leeway for the appropriate people to freak out in peace and start cobbling a plan together, if there was time leftover.

"We're so considerate," said Louis, hanging up.

"It'd probably be more considerate if you didn't do things like get drunk in Vegas and _get married,_ " said Liam reasonably.

"Shut it, fucker," said Louis.

 

"Are you sure you don't want us to come with you?" said Liam to a bleary-eyed Harry the next morning.

He'd snuck inside their suite with the room service tray delivering breakfast; by now he'd figured his way around most of the guys' pre-food and coffee grumpiness.

Harry yawned and shrugged, making grabby hands at Louis.

Liam rolled his eyes and passed over a mug of coffee.

"Probably better if it's just us," said Louis with his mouth full of pancakes. Liam made a face.

"You sure?" he said.

Louis swallowed and nodded. "I mean," he said, "It's our problem, right? It'll look less like we're all ganging up on them this way."

"Even though we are, if they're going to be twats about it," said Liam. "Niall said to tell you that."

Louis grinned. "Tell him he's a peach," he said.

"Tell him yourself, loser," said Liam.

"Don't make me waste my last pancake on you," said Louis, waving his fork threateningly.

"I'm terrified," said Liam flatly. "Okay," he added, heading for the door. "Well, good luck. Call me when you're done, yeah?"

"Yeah," said Louis, waving with about half a ton of false bravado.

Harry made a noise into his coffee. Liam couldn't quite tell whether it was affirmative or anxious or a bit of both.

 

They were gone for less than an hour. It was about right, Liam figured; it took all of five minutes to announce you'd accidentally gone and married your bandmate, as he well knew. Maybe a few more minutes to convince everyone you weren't fucking around, and the rest of the time was probably for yelling and damage control.

He waited with Zayn and Niall in their room, flicking idly through the channels on the TV and trading increasingly stupid fallout scenarios.

"Maybe they'll fire them," said Niall. "I'm positive Simon has a whole factory of boyband members on standby."

"They won't fire them," said Liam sharply.

"'Course they won't," said Zayn easily. "Chill, dude."

"I knew we shouldn't've let you go to California," said Liam, throwing a pillow at him.

Zayn grinned and threw it back, and then Niall said, "Oi, no fighting without me!" and jumped on Liam.

"Oh my fucking God," said Liam, muffled beneath the pillow and Niall, "Why am I in this stupid band?"

"'Cause you love us," said Louis, following Harry in through the door.

Niall slid hastily off of Liam. "So?" he said, straightening his cap. "How the fuck did it go?"

Liam looked at them. They actually didn't seem too distraught, which was...tentatively good.

"It went...well," said Harry a bit uncertainly, shrugging.

"What does that mean?" said Liam, narrowing his eyes.

"It means they went completely mental," said Louis, "Which was fun, trust me, but then they did some Zen breathing bollocks and decided we're going to own it."

"Own it?" said Zayn, raising an eyebrow.

"Like," said Harry, "They said it'll look better if we come out with it straight away instead of only confessing when it's accidentally leaked."

"I agree, really," said Louis. "I mean, you're not my dirty secret, Haz." He tilted his head. "Well, okay, you sort of have been, but not dirty in a bad way. Just a sex way."

"Oh my God," said Liam, throwing his head back.

Niall started giggling and pretending to gag at the same time. It sounded like he was dying.

Harry was grinning his totally besotted grin at Louis though. Liam sighed.

"You two are ridiculous," he said. "Just so you know."

"We know," said Harry happily.

"You also know this isn't…this isn't going to be all great," he said carefully.

"We know that too," said Louis.

"Okay," said Liam. "How are you going to do it?"

"Management said they'd make an announcement or something," said Louis, shrugging. "And then we have to act all happy and shit. Maybe give a couple of interviews."

"Wow," said Zayn. "They really trust you to do the heavy lifting, huh?" He smirked.

"Shut up, fucker," said Louis, sticking his tongue out.

Liam titled his head. It sounded…well, it sounded deceptively easy. Like, Harry and Louis didn't even have to do anything they weren't already, except actually explicitly admit they were shagging. Or married, whatever. It was pretty much the same thing, with them.

Which was kind of cool, he supposed.

Then he spared a moment to freak out a bit over what it meant if _Harry and Louis_ were the ones, like, restoring his faith in the institution of marriage.

 

The two of them disappeared after the show that night. Liam wasn't expecting to see them til morning, but they came shuffling into the hotel room he was sharing with Zayn around midnight, holding hands very obviously. If that was even a thing you could do with degrees of obviousness.

"What's going on?" he asked. He'd been half-asleep on his bed, trying to decide whether he could muster the energy to change out of his stage clothes, even though it was a completely redundant process, because he always did. He liked to think his mum had raised him right, and he'd only feel gross and guilty in the morning.

"We had to talk to management," said Harry, sighing and dropping onto the bed next to Liam.

He hummed in what he hoped was a _please continue_ kind of way.

"They're going to-- they're going to make an announcement in the morning," said Harry.

"Oh." Liam sat up, rubbing at his eyes and wishing he had some coffee or Red Bull or something. This felt like something he should be more awake for. "Okay. Um."

"And they're flying us back to LA," said Louis.

"What?" said Liam stupidly. "All of us?"

"Just me and Harry," said Louis, shaking his head.

"I-- why?" said Liam.

"Wait, where's Niall?" said Louis, looking around.

"In his room probably, idiot," said Zayn mildly.

"Oh yeah," said Harry slowly, pulling out his phone. He flicked off a text and looked up. "He's coming," he said.

"Cool," said Louis, sitting down on Liam's bed too and wrapping himself around Harry.

"Ugh," said Liam, rolling away. "Seriously? Why can't you dirty up Zayn's bed with your marriedness?"

"Because he won't let us," said Harry, like it was obvious.

" _I'm_ not letting you," said Liam.

"You are though," Louis pointed out.

"Zayn has an _aura_ ," said Harry, like that made any sense at all.

"I do mate, sorry," said Zayn, shrugging.

Liam made a _what the hell is my life_ face at the ceiling just as Niall let himself into the room.

"What's happening now?" he said a bit blurrily. He'd probably been on his way to sleep too. Or possibly all the way to sleep, knowing Niall.

"They're making an announcement in the morning," said Louis. "You know, about how we-- "

"Got hitched, tied the knot, took the plunge, took on the old ball and chain-- " Niall grinned manically.

" _Right,_ " said Louis, rolling his eyes. "And they're flying me and Harry back to LA to do an interview."

"Just the one?" said Liam, yawning.

Louis frowned at him. "I can't decide if you're being supportive or not," he said.

"Completely supportive, also just mostly asleep," said Liam, waving a hand.

"Good to know," said Louis. "So, yeah. Then we'll fly back to Phoenix and meet you guys there before the show."

"Sounds good," said Zayn.

"Is that seriously it though?" said Liam. "Just one interview?"

Harry shrugged. "That's what management want," he said.

"It's their whole schtick," said Louis wisely. "We got married, we're owning it, but we're still focusing on the band and finishing the tour. We're _professionals_ , Payne."

Liam snorted. "Some of us are," he said sagely.

"Professionals in love," said Harry, giggling.

"So which show are they chucking you on?" said Niall.

"Ellen, duh," said Harry, tipping his head back wearily onto Louis' shoulder.

"Right." Zayn nodded knowingly. "It's not just a celebrity shotgun marriage. It's a _gay_ celebrity shotgun marriage."

"I'm actually a little disappointed by how unsubtle our management is," said Louis. "I wanted to do Craig Ferguson. He's hilarious."

"The robot is creepy though," said Harry without lifting his head. "Plus you get to dance on Ellen."

"That's true," said Louis, brightening. "I bet Craig would still let me dance though."

"How come we never got to do Ellen as a band?" said Niall, frowning. "I want to dance. I'd be way better than you."

"Lies and slander," said Louis. "I'm a brilliant dancer. Harry, tell him I'm a brilliant dancer."

Harry didn't look up. "He does a great striptease," he said.

Niall groaned loudly.

"Do _not_ strip on Ellen," said Liam sternly to Louis. "Or you either," he added to Harry.

"Oh my God, what do you think I am, four?" said Louis.

"Five, maybe," said Liam generously.

"Wanker," said Louis.

"And try not to talk about your sex life," said Liam, ignoring him.

Harry looked up, blinking. "But our sex life is awesome," he said blankly.

Louis burst out laughing. "I'm so glad I married you, Curly," he said, wiping his eyes.

Harry grinned at him, a little too filthily for Liam's liking.

"Right, that's it," he said, trying to make his voice as authoritative as he could when he was so tired. "Everyone get out. I'm going to sleep."

Louis pulled Harry upright, still laughing quietly, and dragged him towards the door. Niall groaned to his feet.

"Mind if I stay?" said Zayn dryly.

"Shut up," said Liam, pulling the covers over his head.

 

They watched the interview from their hotel room in Phoenix. They'd been flown down in the morning while Harry and Louis were headed to LA. It was kind of cute, Liam thought, how Paul treated them kind of like siblings in the sense that if one of them got something, the rest of them did, too. Liam wasn't complaining though. He was happy to skip spending hours on a bus today.

He didn't pay a lot of attention to what they were saying. It wasn't like he didn't already know exactly what had happened, and the interview was a kind of weird combination of their usual flirting with the host/camera/audience interwoven with the story they'd clearly rehearsed with management and a little bit of their own inevitable sincerity. It was okay, really-- could've been a lot worse, but it made Liam a little uncomfortable for reasons he couldn't quite figure out. Something to do with how it was so put-on, maybe, and how he knew it sucked for them, even if Ellen was super nice and supportive and sincere. They were his mates, after all, and it must have been hard, having to wheel out and spin something that should be entirely their own for the world and hope they found it palatable. It shouldn't matter, and well, it didn't, except for all the ways it did. Like, there was the bigger picture and then there was _now_ , the band and their fans and the reality of an asshole alongside every supporter, and all the little ways their handling of this could affect those things for them. Sometimes things were just really fucked up, Liam had realised, so unlike the seamless jigsaw you imagined as a kid, like all the different parts of your life would just slot together without resistance. It got harder, too, the more things you went after, less of a jigsaw and more like a mosaic with jagged pieces it took time and patience and painstaking effort to make into something even resembling order, and there wasn't a lot you could do about it.

Especially not him, in this situation. Not when it was Harry and Louis trying to juggle being together and being open and having a career and fans.

It wasn't that it would _never_ fit, but it'd take a lot of work to get it together.

In the end though, he was just glad management were dealing with it in a pretty positive way. Like, owning it was a good message to send, a good way to deal with something that wasn't shitty at all but that people (assholes) would call shitty anyway, and if it made Harry and Louis smile like they had been, well, he was on board with probably anything that did that.

Besides, idiots though they were sometimes, he trusted the two of them to deal with it well enough. Or well, eventually. Hopefully. He was enough of a realist to expect a stretch of shittiness between now and then; they were all going to need some time to adjust, not the least Harry and Louis. But in the end they had each other.

Plus the rest of them, Liam thought determinedly.

Anyway, he focused instead on the stuff besides the words coming out of their mouths, because God knew if he'd learned anything being in a super-famous band it was how to read gestures and body language and generally anything that wasn't either managerial bullshit or his mates being sleep-deprived and/or adrenaline-charged dickheads.

Harry's t-shirt was, weirdly for him, striped, which meant it was almost definitely one of Louis'. Actually Liam was positive he'd seen Louis wearing it more than once. They were sitting almost overlapped on the couch, which wasn't unusual for the two of them or in fact any combination of the five of them, but they were also holding hands. It looked kind of sweet and relaxed, to the untrained eye, especially with the way Harry was smiling _that_ flirty-cute TV smile of his, but Liam could see how white both their knuckles were, the way Harry's fingertips were bloodless from pressing so hard into the back of Louis' hand, and the tiny, anxious lines around Harry's eyes, the way Louis' lips were chapped from worrying at them too much with his teeth.

They answered the questions pretty seamlessly, anyway. Louis joked about having to tie Harry down early, because, "Seriously," he said, rueful and earnest to Ellen, playing it up, "You know he's a massive...player? Is that what you call it over here? We just say 'slag' back in the UK. The ladies love him, anyway, so I had to make it official." That made Harry shake his head and smile and the audience scream and cheer, and when they quieted down Harry said, "Really he's just jealous of my hair." Ellen said, " _I'm_ jealous of your hair," and Liam grinned to himself, shaking his head, and also felt a little bit heartclenchingly proud.

They didn't even stay on the marriage for the whole interview. Ellen moved it on (probably at the behest of management) to talk about the tour and the shows and the new material, and then it was done, and Liam was blinking at the ads on screen while Niall said, carefully, "Well, that was actually pretty painless, yeah?"

"Yeah," said Liam, running a hand through his hair.

"They did really well," added Niall.

"Yeah," said Liam again.

"Hey," said Niall, "While we're here and they're not, you know, are we all good?"

Liam frowned at him. "I'm fine," he said. "Are we-- should we not be?"

"'Course we're fucking _fine_ , I mean." Niall shook his head. "Like, they'll cop most of it, but they also won't be the only ones taking shit. It's our band too. Plus we have to stick up for them if it ever gets really bad. Are we like, all set for that?"

"Fuck yeah," said Zayn easily, grinning.

"'Course," said Liam. "We're a band. 'S what we do."

"Fistbumps!" said Niall randomly, grinning and holding out his fist.

Liam rolled his eyes but reached out with Zayn to bump all three of their hands awkwardly together.

 

Much as he hated to admit it, the show that night was more going-through-the-motions than anything else. It was just, they were _tired_ , Harry and Louis especially, and not just physically, and there was also this weird sense of...of standing on the precipice, of _knowing_ shit was going to get crazy but not quite being there yet. The calm before the storm, maybe. In a totally metaphorical sense, because Liam wouldn't call anything in his life right now, never mind the shows with all their deafening music and screaming fans, calm.

 

They were on the bus before seven the next morning. No one was really properly awake, and Louis made immediately for the bunks at the back of the bus before he noticed Harry curling up on the couch with coffee and his phone and made a small, pained noise before settling in next to him instead.

"You can sleep without me, you know," said Harry.

"I can, but it's not as fun," said Louis through a yawn. Harry rolled his eyes.

He looked distracted though, Liam noticed as he slumped down with his coffee. He wondered whether it felt the same for them, the weird starkness of it all this morning, the way it was so dawn-bright, the day and another location stretched out in front of them with no barrier of blissfully ignorant unconsciousness between then and now. _Now_ , where it was kind of impossible not to realise in a far less abstract way that this was happening.

That people _knew_ and there was no going back.

Louis was already halfway to sleep with his head pillowed in the soft space between the couch and Harry's shoulder, so he didn't notice the way Harry boggled at his phone and looked more than a little freaked out as he scrolled kind of perfunctorily through it.

"What?" said Liam, eyeing him carefully.

"There's just-- there are so many _messages_ ," he said.

Liam...wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. Of course there were, but it was just-- well, like Harry said, there was going to be _so much_ , and he'd never really dealt with anything like this.

Louis cackled without opening his eyes and said, in this stupid deep voice, "Harry Styles doesn't want to deal with his phone. It's the apocalypse!"

"Have you _looked_ yet?" said Harry.

"No," said Louis. "I'm living in blissful ignorance until we get off this bus. You should try it, it's fun."

"But," said Harry, waving his phone kind of vehemently.

Louis sat up and rolled his eyes. "I could distract you, if you want," he said suggestively.

It was kind of hilarious, how torn Harry looked then. Like, his phone or Louis? Liam imagined it was quite a dilemma for him.

Louis sighed dramatically and looked at Liam. "Seriously, the shit I have to put up with. You know how many times he's almost chosen his phone over me? 'Almost' being the operative word though. His phone can't give him-- "

"I don't want to know!" shouted Liam hastily.

Louis cackled madly and sort of semi-tackled Harry back into the couch, snatching his phone away. "Stop playing hard to get," he said sternly. "We're married, the game's up."

Harry rolled his eyes, but smiled a bit and said, "You like it though."

"I do," said Louis. "Let's go have bunk sex."

Harry blinked. "Okay," he said easily after only a moment, shrugging.

Liam watched them stumble to the back of the bus and wondered very despairingly how this was his life now.

 

It was actually a really nice trip from Phoenix to Austin. Harry and Louis stayed holed up in the bunks, as did Zayn and Niall, probably sleeping, and Liam curled up on the sofa with his iPod and dozed in the warm pool of sunlight drenching in through the window.

He wished, kind of fiercely and kind of stupidly, that they could just keep driving.

Stopping and stepping outside was pretty much the last step into this new shade of their reality now, and it wasn't like he was dreading it, exactly, but it was also kind of easy to let the exhaustion start guiding your thoughts and looking for smoother, alternate routes.

There was no alternate route here though. Not now. Mostly he was just trying to gear himself up to deal with Harry and Louis dealing with the world's reactions, because it felt like something they'd definitely need, and something he could definitely do for them.

He didn't know exactly what was coming, but it was pretty logical to assume that some of it was going to be shitty, and someone who wasn't Harry or Louis had to be level-headed about it.

Especially with Louis. Watching him now, how deliberately carefree he looked and sounded, Liam wondered how long it would last. Louis wasn't exactly one to delay or dilute his reactions, so Liam figured they only had until something really properly got to him.

Which probably wouldn't happen long after he actually started paying attention.

 

It was dark when they pulled up in front of the hotel in Austin, sometime after ten at night.

Liam's head spun a bit as he stretched and stood up, partly from exhaustion and partly from the realisation that they'd been driving for fourteen hours.

Harry was stumbling towards the door, looking barely awake. He stopped with his hand on the latch.

"Whassit?" mumbled Louis, stepping into his back. It didn't actually look like it was on purpose, for once.

"We're not going to get, like, mobbed, or, or shot, are we?" said Harry.

Liam blinked at him.

"Want me to be your bodyguard?" said Louis. It wasn't very convincing, not the least because he didn't even have his eyes open.

"We have minders, fucker," said Niall.

"I doubt their commitment to taking a bullet for Harry," said Louis haughtily.

"No one's getting shot, oh my God," said Liam, throwing up his hands. "Did any of you idiots actually read up on this place?"

"Um," said Louis, blinking at him. "You know you're not _actually_ our manager, right, Li?"

"Shut up," said Liam. "Anyway, apparently Austin is actually a really liberal place, it's-- "

"We're in _Texas_ ," said Louis blankly.

"If you'd let me _finish_ ," said Liam pointedly, and added, "They nicknamed it The People's Republic of Austin, or something like that, because it's so weirdly liberal."

There was a silence. "Huh," said Louis.

"For fuck's sake," said Zayn, "Can you losers stop being so ridiculous and _get off the fucking bus?_ I want a proper bed like, yesterday."

"You had a proper bed yesterday," said Louis with a shit-eating grin.

"Don't start with me, Tomlinson," said Zayn, pushing past him and Harry and jumping outside.

 

The show was better the next night. It helped that they all had a stretch of sleep that wasn't anxiety-salted or in a bunk on a moving vehicle, and also that the fans probably weren't as bad as Harry and Louis had been imagining. Mostly it was the usual screaming and crowding and craziness. Liam wasn't quite hopeful enough to think it'd stay like that the whole way through, but it was a good way to ease into things now they were different. Still though, there were a lot more people than usual (which was saying something) clamouring to get to Harry and/or Louis, and a lot more phone cameras tracking their every move, probably hoping to get something good to put online.

The guys bore it pretty well, anyway, a little wide-eyed and anxious, like they were waiting for something to get worse or go wrong, but in a lot of ways it was just an amped-up version of what they were all already used to, which was good for them.

Actually, the biggest issue that came out of Austin was when one of the fans outside the venue yelled out, "Harry and Louis, show us your rings!" as they were getting in the car back to the hotel.

Harry and Louis glanced blankly down at their bare hands, then at each other, then ducked into the car without responding.

"You don't have rings?" said Liam, staring at them as the engine started up.

"I think we did?" said Louis, eyes distant.

"We lost them," agreed Harry.

"And you didn't think getting some new ones would be a good idea when you went public with _being married?_ " Liam raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, shut up, you didn't even notice til now," said Louis.

"Did management?" said Liam.

"Um. I don't think so?" said Harry.

"Oh my God," said Niall, giggling. "We are the worst at being in a band. Management included."

"Well," said Liam, not disagreeing with him at all, "Maybe you should get some."

Harry looked sort of thoughtful and fascinated all at once.

"Shopping!" said Louis, elbowing him. "You love jewelry."

 

Harry and Louis slipped out in New Orleans to find themselves some rings. Liam honestly had no idea how they managed it, or how they finagled management into _letting_ them do it in the first place, but they came back happy enough and in once piece, and Liam decided he didn't even want to know.

The rings were simple, just thin gold bands glinting tastefully on their left hands. Liam was sort of surprised and not at the same time.

"Did you get them engraved or anything?" said Niall, examining Harry's ring.

"Yeah," said Louis, grinning.

"Oh God," said Liam.

"Hey, it could be completely tasteful, you don't know," said Louis.

"The actual rings are tasteful," said Liam. "I doubt you managed to contain yourselves for the engraving as well."

"Well," said Harry, shrugging, "We couldn't agree on anything normal."

"Right," said Louis. "So we got _Babycakes_ and _Boo Bear_. I wear his nickname, he wears mine."

"That's-- " Liam stopped. He couldn't decide whether it was more sweet or ridiculous.

Probably equal amounts of both, in the end.

 

Liam was last into the dressing room after the New Orleans show. He sort of regretted loitering when he saw what was going on. Or well, he didn't really know _what_ was going on, but Harry was half-changed into his non-show clothes and seemingly trying to tug Louis out of his sweaty stage shirt, since Louis was paying absolutely no attention to anything but his phone.

Niall was sitting on the couch, leaning forward over his knees as he watched them and looking utterly fascinated. Zayn was nowhere to be seen.

"What's going on?" said Liam to the room at large.

"Louis is finally catching up on his Twitter feed," said Niall reverently.

"Oh," said Liam, turning his eyes to Louis again. He was still staring at his phone. His expression was kind of blank though, apart from a tiny furrow between his brows that could mean anything.

"Why now?" he added.

Niall shrugged. "I think there may have been someone extra, you know, _loud_ near his end of the stage. Not sure."

Liam translated _loud_ to _asshole_ and then watched as Harry managed to tug the last cuff off of Louis' wrist and threw the shirt carelessly onto the floor, starting with the buttons on his jeans.

"Seriously?" said Liam, voice cracking a little.

Harry glanced over and rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to blow him, don't worry," he said. He tilted his head and added, "Yet," smirking.

"Sometimes I really hate you," said Liam vehemently.

Harry's smirk widened.

"Fuck!" shouted Louis. Harry jumped.

"What the hell," said Liam.

"What?" said Louis, looking up like he'd forgotten they were all there. "Oh. Um, nothing." He shook his head and glanced back down at his phone, typing furiously.

Liam frowned at him suspiciously.

Harry's face as he peered over Louis' shoulder, part amused and part uncertain, eyebrows raised, didn't do much to alleviate his worry.

 

Liam was woken the morning they left New Orleans for Jackson by the shrill sound of alerts on his phone. He groaned and rolled over, groping at the bedside table til he found it and held it up above his face, squinting until his eyes adjusted to the light.

It was a series of texts from Niall. The first one said _check out lou's twitter_ , followed by _and maybe have a word about it_. A few minutes after that he'd sent _it's not that bad dw but you know before paul blows his shit or lou does something worse._

Liam groaned and rolled heavily out of bed.

 

"Louis," he said once the bus was safely en route, "Did you tell someone on Twitter you sold your wedding photos to _Hello_ magazine?"

"No," said Louis shiftily.

" _Lou_ ," said Liam wearily.

"What?" said Louis. "Come on, anyone who's not thick as a post can figure out we got married when we were pissed in Vegas. I was kidding. It's not my fault people are stupid."

Liam pointed at him. "You're supposed to stick to management's story," he said.

"I am," said Louis. "Hence the photo thing."

"But there are no photos!" shouted Liam. "What is that, double bluffing? Triple bluffing? I can't even keep track with you, seriously."

"I just said it, fuck," said Louis. "It's not a big deal."

"You can't go messing with people about this," said Liam. "It's not a joke. Or do you want them to think it is?"

Louis folded his arms. "Fuck you, you know I don't," he said. "I don't want them to think I'm going to stop being me, either. Or, or do what they think I should."

"By you, you mean stupid," said Liam, nodding.

"What if I do?" said Louis. "This isn't-- it's not a joke, but I'm not going to let people be assholes about it, either."

Liam scrubbed a hand over his face. "That's good," he said. "Just don't-- don't _lie_ , okay?"

"Ugh, whatever," said Louis.

 

Jackson was kind of shitty. It wasn't their longest stop or biggest venue or most extensive crowd, but the atmosphere was weird from the moment they stepped off the bus.

There was a group of people outside the hotel who were clearly just there to give Harry and Louis shit, and another, larger group of actual fans who were trying to drown out the assholes, which was ridiculously sweet, but it made for a lot of chaos and no time to really deal with either and an uncomfortable, rushed tussle to the lobby for everyone.

Louis had an almost vicious hold on Harry's hand as they made it to the elevators, and the show that night was one of their most aggressive so far, and not really in a good way.

 

Liam was woken by his phone again the next morning, at really a pretty unacceptable stretch of time before they were due back on the bus.

It was actually ringing this time, and the caller ID said it was Paul, so he couldn't ignore it. Much as he wanted to.

"Sorry to wake you," said Paul without preamble. "I just need you to talk to Louis for me."

Liam sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "You don't think it'd be more effective coming from you?"

"I don't want to make it too shitty on him," said Paul. "Yet. It's not a huge deal. Just some more stuff on Twitter that's winding a few people up. Management spoke to me and I'm talking to you, et cetera."

Liam shook his head at the ceiling. "Okay," he said. "I'll try."

 

"Louis," said Liam. "You remember that conversation less than twenty-four hours ago where I told you not to fuck with people on Twitter anymore?"

"Since when are you in charge of the band?" said Louis, frowning.

"Since Paul started calling me before the rest of you," said Liam.

Niall stared at him. "No, seriously, when did that happen?" he said.

Liam waved a hand. " _Anyway,_ " he said. "Were you seriously using Twitter to get feedback on names for you and Harry's kids?"

"Well, why not?" said Louis. "That's what it's there for."

"You remember that thing where we don't want people to think this is all a joke?" said Liam.

"It's not a joke!" said Louis. "It's-- it's _us_. Shit like this was fine before we came out."

"Yeah, well, that did change things a bit. I know it shouldn't, but." Liam shrugged in a helpless _that's just the way things are_ kind of way and added, "You're not being even a little passive-aggressive?" disbelievingly.

"Look, we couldn't agree on a middle name, so I put it to public vote. Seriously, after that shit outside the hotel yesterday, I'm surprised Paul isn't _pleased_ with me."

Liam rolled his eyes and threw up his hands. "I give up," he said.

 

It figured, then, that they were barely past the city limits into Montgomery when Liam checked his phone and found Louis tweeting some bollocks about how he'd be going in drag for their next video.

"Drag, seriously?" he shouted, cornering Louis in Harry's bunk.

" _What_ ," said Louis. "They were being assholes, okay, calling us-- whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of seeing me pissed off. I'd rather show them I don't give a shit and there's nothing wrong with this. Any of it."

"But you are pissed off," said Liam.

"I said I didn't want them to see I was," said Louis.

"Look," said Liam, "Just stop _lying_ on Twitter, okay?"

"How do you know I'm lying? Maybe I will go in drag for our next video."

"For God's sake," said Liam, throwing a pillow at him. "Stop making my life difficult, I'm just telling you what management want. For all I care you can do our next _show_ in drag."

Louis perked up.

"That was a joke," said Liam sternly.

"Yeah, but if I did it then it wouldn't be a lie, would it?" said Louis.

"You could dress in drag for me," said Harry.

"Huh," said Louis thoughtfully. "Like practice, yeah?"

"Yeah," said Harry, grinning. "I could do your makeup."

"You know my colours, right?" said Louis seriously.

"Of course," scoffed Harry.

"I'm leaving right now," said Liam.

"Hey," said Louis. "Be happy, this way if anyone asks I can tell them I do it for Harry. See, no lie! Not even a joke!"

He shook his head on his way out. Harry had interesting, occasionally scarring ways of diffusing situations with Louis, but what the hell, at least they worked.

 

The show was better than Liam had been expecting, in all honesty. Maybe denial was a bad thing, who knew, but pretending there was nothing weird going on made for less nail-biting, on-edge performances, anyway.

Afterwards Liam stepped lightheartedly into one of the adjoining dressing rooms, buoyed by how unexpectedly seamless the show had been. Harry was sitting on one of the couches, elbows propped on his knees and chin in his hands, staring kind of dejectedly at the floor. Liam sighed and supposed he should stop tempting fate until he knew all the facts, or something.

Shows were _shows_ , after all, and performances you knew people were paying to see weren't exactly the same as real life, where things like Paul shouting at Louis from next door tended to happen.

"What's going on?" said Liam.

Harry shrugged. "He tweeted something about-- about actually meaning to marry Zayn but accidentally marrying me instead."

"What the fuck," said Liam blankly. That was sort of horribly insensitive, even for Louis.

"He was joking," said Harry. "I mean, obviously. He told me and everything. But management, and-- and Paul's pissed off though. I think he's banning Lou from Twitter."

"You're not pissed off?" said Liam sceptically.

Harry shrugged again. "It's what he does, you know? I know he doesn't mean it. I think." He chewed on his lip for a moment. "I think maybe not being on Twitter for a bit will be good though."

"No shit," muttered Liam.

Harry smiled weakly.

They fell silent then, listening in to the conversation that was getting louder outside the door.

"No, seriously," shouted Paul. "Another peep and we'll distribute your cut between the other four."

"You're supposed to be on my side!" said Louis furiously.

"I am!" said Paul. "We're trying to help you."

"No, you're trying to make money off us," said Louis. "That's not the same thing."

"You shouldn't be joking about this!" said Paul.

"Why not?" said Louis. "Why does marriage have to be all doom and gloom? It's fun, that's what we do!"

"You want people to take you and Harry seriously?" said Paul. "Because if you keep making stupid jokes about it ten minutes after you announced it happened, they're going to keep giving you shit. They'll think it's all some big stupid prank."

"It's fucking turning into one," said Louis bitterly.

Liam glanced at Harry. He was biting down on his lip.

"Look," said Paul, more quietly. "Just stop Tweeting for a bit. Stop messing with people's heads about this. Stop messing with Harry's head. Keep joking about other shit, I don't care. Just not this, okay? Not yet. Not if you really want people to think you and Harry are real. It won't have to be forever if you do it right now."

"Not like I have much of a choice, is it," said Louis.

"Nope," said Paul.

Louis didn't say anything else, just banged loudly back into the room where Harry and Liam were waiting.

"Let's go," he said shortly.

Harry stood up and followed him silently from the room.

Liam closed his eyes for a moment, scrubbing both hands fiercely through his hair, before he moved after them.

 

Louis was silent on the bus to Atlanta.

Harry sat up front on the couch, thumbing through his phone with his headphones in, and Louis kept appearing and disappearing, splitting his time between the bunks and next to Harry.

They didn't actually talk, but it was sort of comforting to see the way Harry shifted to accommodate Louis in all his restlessness, rearranging his legs or moving an arm without even looking up from his phone.

It was sort of like-- things sucked, so it was good to be reminded that they were going through this shit for a _reason_ , that the two of them had something that made this all worthwhile.

 

It was still pretty tense when they shuffled into the hotel.

Harry stopped before they made it to the elevators and said to Liam, "You can make sure they get our bags in our room, right?" he said.

"I-- yeah," said Liam. "Why?"

"Hey," said Harry, curling a hand around one of Louis' wrists, "I want to go out, come on."

"What?" said Louis. "I'm tired."

"Not _out_ out," said Harry. "I asked Paul if we could borrow a car. I want to go to the world's largest drive-through."

"Haz-- " started Louis.

"Come on, Lou," said Harry quietly, biting down on his lip and making his eyes all big. It was a calculated move, Liam knew, he'd seen Harry do it enough times, but he was pretty sure this was actually a genuine reason. Not like he ever really cared. That was just Harry. "You're hungry, right?"

"I-- " Louis sighed and quirked a smile. "Yeah, proper hungry. Okay, let's go."

Harry grinned, bright and happy.

 

They were only gone for an hour or so, and actually wandered back into the room where Liam was half-heartedly watching some stupid movie Niall had made him put on. Even though this was actually his room. Well, his and Zayn's. Not that Niall understood that-- or any-- boundary.

"Hey," he said, glancing over at them. "How was the world's biggest drive-through?"

"Greasy," said Harry.

"Delicious," agreed Louis. "Also, we have a mascot."

"What?" said Liam.

Harry shrugged. "Some fan gave it to us outside," he said. "It's cute."

Liam craned his neck to look at the toy kitten Louis had in his hand.

"It can ride up front in the bus," said Harry.

"Are you sure it's not rigged?" said Niall.

Louis frowned at him. "It's a toy kitten," he said. "A thirteen year-old girl gave it to me."

Niall shrugged. "I know," he said. "But weirder things have happened. We have to be careful, especially now that-- " He waved a hand at Harry and Louis.

"What are you saying?" said Louis sharply. Shit. He was getting narrow-eyed and pissy like he did whenever he got geared up for a fight.

"I'm not trying to be an asshole, mate," said Niall, holding up his hands. "I'm just saying that other people are."

"Why would you-- over a fucking toy?" said Louis, laughing humourlessly. "Seriously, we don't need that crap from-- "

"Lou," said Liam quietly.

"No, fuck you," said Louis tremulously. "You know how much shit we've been getting?" He waved a hand at Harry, presumably to indicate his slightly bruised-looking, tired eyes, his overly pale skin. "I _know_ some people want us out of the band, or, or fucking dead, you don't need to remind us."

"No one wants you dead," said Liam. "Stop exaggerating."

Louis glared at him. "So what, it's not that bad, is that what you're telling me? That message Harry got last night was okay with you? We're just making a big deal of nothing?"

"You're making it worse than it has to be," said Liam, clenching his fists.

" _Fuck_ you," said Louis, voice shaking.

"Lou," said Harry quietly.

Louis whirled around to look at him. There was this weird suspended moment where his whole body kind of paused visibly, and then he deflated, the glare slipping off of his face.

"C'mere," said Harry, holding out a hand.

Louis took it and sat down next to him, shaking his head. "Sorry," he said grudgingly to the floor.

Liam breathed out. "We're doing our best, you know," he said.

"I know," said Louis.

"If we-- if we get it wrong, or-- " Liam shrugged. "We're just trying to help, okay?"

"Yeah," said Louis. He exhaled kind of shakily.

"Hey," said Harry after a silence, picking up the toy. "Can we get him a hat?"

Louis blinked and looked at him. "Why does he need a hat?" He frowned.

"I think he'd look more like me with a hat," said Harry.

"But you don't wear hats!" said Louis

"Sometimes I do," said Harry.

"I wear hats more than you do," said Louis.

Liam stared at them. "Why are you arguing about hats?" he said.

"Hey." Louis pointed at him. "Dr Seuss would be proud."

Liam held up his hands. "I'm sure he would," he said.

"Good," said Louis, probably a little more savagely than was warranted, but Liam thought he could probably use a bit of slack.

Harry yawned.

"Tired, Curly?" said Louis, glancing at him.

"Always," said Harry.

"Yeah," agreed Louis. "Bed?"

Harry nodded.

"Okay." Louis stood and looked sort of awkwardly at Liam and Niall and Zayn. "'Night," he said.

"Night, Lou," said Liam quietly.

Louis shot him a small, half-grateful, half-apologetic smile on his way out.

 

"Nashville, Tennessee, baby!" shouted Niall as the bus ground to a halt in front of the hotel.

Louis threw a pillow at him. "Shut the fuck up, loser," he said.

"We're in the country music capital, man," said Niall.

"Who likes country music?" said Harry.

"Don't be so posh," said Niall.

"I'm not posh," said Harry, for possibly the millionth time since Liam had met him.

"You are a bit," said Louis into his hair, hugging him from behind. "Don't worry, I don't care, as long as you're not too posh to put out."

"That would make him the least posh person ever then," said Zayn, smirking.

Louis cackled. "Posh or a slag, Haz, take your pick," he said.

"Why can't I be neither?" said Harry, frowning.

"What about both?" said Louis, pulling back and tilting his head. "A posh slag? Like a high-class escort or something."

"Yeah, those girls are proper classy," said Niall seriously.

"I don't like where this conversation is headed," said Liam, biting back a grin. "I really want to see the Parthenon while we're here."

"Uh," said Louis. "Li, isn't that in Greece?"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you," said Liam with as much superiority as he could muster, jumping off the bus first so he could scope the crowd situation outside.

 

The crowd wasn't too bad at all, which was something to be said for driving overnight and arriving at a stupidly early pre-dawn hour of the morning.

There wasn't much else, so Liam figured he'd take it.

They let Paul sort out the rooms in the lobby, even though that was something Liam usually liked to do for himself, because well, he was a popstar, but he wasn't some diva and didn't want to be.

He _was_ fucking tired though, and it wouldn't hurt this one time. He slumped on some thankfully secluded couches with the other lads and watched idly as Harry pulled his phone from his pocket when it started ringing, then frowned and sat up straighter at the look on Harry's face.

"What?" he said sharply.

"I have to-- " Harry stopped and bit down on his lip. "It's my mum," he continued. "I haven't spoken to her since...you know."

Liam stared at him. " _What?_ " he said. "Harry, you haven't spoken to your _mum?_ About how you got _married?_ "

Harry shrugged. "I just-- I don't know what she's going to say," he said.

"Yeah, but," said Liam weakly, "She's your mum."

"Louis hasn't either," said Harry a bit petulantly. "Spoken to his family, I mean."

"Seriously?" said Liam. "What is _wrong_ with the two of you?"

Louis shrugged and didn't meet his eyes. "I don't want my sisters to be disappointed," he said.

Something flitted across Harry's face when he said that, scared and a bit sick and gone before Liam could properly catalogue it.

"Guys," said Liam. "Look, obviously I don't _know_ , but I think it's-- I think it might be easier to deal with all the other crap if you've dealt with your families first. I mean, it's worth a shot, right?"

Harry stared at his phone and didn't answer.

"I guess," said Louis.

"It's going to be _fine_ ," said Liam. "They're your family. They love you, okay? If anything they'll be more pissed you haven't spoken to them than about what you did."

"Thanks, doc," said Louis, shaking his head at him.

Liam rolled his eyes and cuffed him around the neck. "Shut it, wanker," he said. "Man up and call your mum."

"Yeah," said Louis. He breathed out. "Come on, Haz. We're men, let's do this."

"Speak for yourself," mumbled Harry, but he picked up his phone with a sigh.

 

The show that night was good, and they had a couple of interviews after that weren't quite as fantastic, mainly because Niall spent most of the time interrupting anything he thought was a question about Harry and Louis with stupid comments that didn't make much sense, but Harry kept shooting him grateful, even amused looks, and it was smoother for that than it could have been, especially with Louis in the mindframe he was right now.

They were due to leave for the next stop in the morning. People called a lot of things whirlwind but this really was a fucking _whirlwind_ trip, although Liam wasn't ever going to complain about being in so much demand everywhere.

Still, he managed to wrangle a stopover at the Parthenon on the way out of town, which was pretty cool, considering how little time they had to do touristy things this time 'round.

Harry blinked sleepily, confused, when the bus stopped only about twenty minutes after taking off from the hotel. The other guys hadn't even made it back to the bunks yet.

"I got them to stop at the Parthenon," explained Liam, climbing to his feet.

"You were serious?" said Louis, frowning and moving to one of the windows, "But I thought-- oh."

"Don't doubt me, wanker," said Liam, wrenching the door open.

It was completely unscheduled, which meant there were no crowds, and it was also only barely dawn, so there weren't even any unsuspecting tourists around to see them.

Liam grinned and stretched on the footpath, tilting his head to take it in. It was stupidly beautiful; the perfect, to-scale replica of the fucking _Parthenon_ against the orange-streaked dawn sky, and it was easy to pretend they were somewhere else, just for the ten or so minutes they had here, away from all the shit going on in the real, media-riddled world.

"You're not daydreaming about living in Ancient Greece, are you?" said Louis from behind him.

"Sort of." Liam grinned.

Louis hummed agreeably. "Might be nice," he said.

"They were big on the man-love," agreed Liam, nodding.

Louis rolled his eyes.

"Hey," said Liam. "How'd it go, with your family?"

Louis was silent for a long moment before he said, "Fine," with enough finality that Liam didn't bother pushing it, even though he wanted to, if only so he could try and make it better for Lou.

Harry stepped up beside him when Louis wandered off across the grass, closer to the building.

"His sisters were weird," he said quietly, watching Louis' back.

"Shit, really?" said Liam.

"Well, one of them, I think. He didn't really say much." Harry shrugged.

"They're young though, right?" said Liam. "I mean, it's-- kids are like that. Even if he'd married a girl, or-- " God, he never knew what to do when Harry's face looked like that. "Haz. Even if he'd married a girl, you know how kids are about families and stuff like that. Little sisters about big brothers."

"I suppose," said Harry doubtfully.

"How'd it go with yours, anyway?" said Liam, elbowing him encouragingly.

Harry lifted one shoulder. "Okay," he said. "Mum was mainly mad she didn't get to come."

"See?" Liam grinned. "Now you'll just have to do a proper wedding sometime."

"Yeah," said Harry vaguely.

"Definitely," said Liam. "Then Lou's sisters can come too and it'll be great."

Harry shook his head. "I can't-- I can't even think about that right now, you know? We're still in _America_."

"Yeah," said Liam. He nudged Harry again.

Harry sighed. "I better go check Lou's okay," he said.

"Don't let it get to you, okay?" said Liam, totally redundantly, he knew, but it was something you were supposed to say, he was pretty sure, so.

Harry smiled sadly. "I don't want-- I don't want to get between him and his family. He loves them."

"He loves _you_ too," said Liam sternly.

"Yeah," said Harry, biting down on his lip and heading off after Louis.

 

"Is this the fun Charleston or the boring Charleston?" asked Harry as they crossed into West Virginia.

"Boring Charleston," said Liam absently, peering through the window. He didn't agree, entirely. It depended what you considered boring, obviously, but they were heading into the Appalachian region, and it was pretty spectacular. Their route didn't take them through the really intense parts of the range, he didn't think, but it was all rugged and hilly and kind of like something out of Pocahontas outside, so it was still pretty cool. He really wanted to come back here, to America sometime, just to travel around and see everything properly.

Still, it wasn't the worst, being able to lie back on the sofa and watch it drift by outside the window. He liked these interludes on the bus between cities and crowds and concerts.

He was pretty sure everyone else did, too.

 

They had the afternoon to rest in the hotel before the show that night, since they made it into Charleston around noon. The crowd was pretty horrendous, about fifty fifty with well-wishers and-- and not, and it took a good fifteen minutes to fight through into the lobby, and probably a lot longer to shake off some of the stray insults that made it through the cacophony of noise.

They rode the elevator up together, and Louis had one hand on Harry's back and the other on his phone, typing furiously with his thumb.

"Lou," said Liam as the elevator reached their floor, catching a glimpse of the screen as Louis shoved his phone hastily into his pocket, "Are you tweeting?"

"No," said Louis.

"Because I swear you just had Twitter up on your phone."

Louis shrugged. "I was looking. Doesn't mean I was tweeting."

"Okay," said Liam slowly. "I'm not-- you know I just don't want Paul to give you shit, right?"

"I know," said Louis, slapping his back absently. "Thanks."

Liam watched him go suspiciously. He felt bad for feeling suspicious, but it was just-- if Lou was looking at Twitter, and there was bad stuff on there, which there was bound to be, then it wasn't like him at all to be all blasé and totally okay about it.

 

He couldn't keep an eye on Louis from his room, obviously, but he hung back after the show til he knew Louis was by himself in one of the dressing rooms. When he slipped in Louis was-- unfortunately, but as he'd predicted-- on his phone, and Liam was pretty sure that was Twitter he had up.

"Lou," he said, sighing.

Louis whirled around to glare at him.

" _What_ ," he said. "I'm not tweeting, okay, I'm just. I want to know what they're saying."

"What for?" said Liam. "It's only going to piss you off more, and you _know_ you can't say anything back."

Louis looked bright-eyed and contradictory, like he knew something Liam didn't, and Liam frowned.

"Seriously-- "

"It's _fine_ , Jesus, I'm not going to break my leash, okay," said Louis, shoving roughly past him.

Liam sighed. They had another day of interviews in Charleston before they moved on, and right now that wasn't looking like the greatest prospect for any of them.

 

Louis was uncharacteristically quiet during the stream of interviews. None of them were long enough to get really in-depth, but obviously there was still a ton of questions about the whole marriage thing. Mostly Louis let Harry or the other guys answer for him though, and they stuck pretty well with management's story. Liam thought it was actually telling for the lack of stupid jokes and sarcasm and general lightheartedness, but he wasn't in charge of the band, much as they liked to take the piss out of him about it, so there wasn't a lot he could do apart from trying to lighten the mood himself, which-- he wasn't quite sure how well it worked. It wasn't like he was the funny one in any capacity, but he felt like this was something they all did sometime or another, stepping up to fill in when the others were tired or upset or whatever, so he tried.

He didn't think Louis noticed; he was still frowning at his phone every free second he had, but Harry said, "Thanks," quietly to him as they climbed into the car to head back to the hotel, smiling kind of tiredly, and Liam shot him a crooked grin and said, "Any time."

 

He figured Louis mustn't have got a huge amount of sleep the night before, which wasn't unusual for him, but generally he was better at things like not leaving his phone unattended on the breakfast table.

Liam felt kind of terrible for looking, and he felt kind of terrible for the _reason_ he was looking, which was that with this at least, he didn't trust Louis, but in the end that was what it came down to, and he just didn't want Louis to run himself off the road when driving was more than he could handle right now.

He had Twitter up, but it wasn't his official account, and he was logged in, which meant it was an account he'd started.

"Lou," he said tiredly, setting the phone down when Louis came back with a loaded plate from the buffet.

Louis rolled his eyes and picked up his fork. "Don't start," he said.

"Why _wouldn't_ I start?" said Liam. "You opened a fake account just so you can say bitchy things to people?"

"What's the problem?" said Louis. "No one knows it's me."

"How long do you think that's going to last?" hissed Liam furiously. "You _know_ what Paul said."

"Fuck Paul," said Louis. "Fuck everyone."

Liam closed his eyes and counted to ten. "Lou," he said eventually, "I know it didn't go brilliantly with your family, and I know it sucks you can't take this out on anyone, but-- "

"It went fine with my family," said Louis shortly.

Liam raised an eyebrow.

"It's just my little sister, she'll get over it," said Louis, shrugging.

"Don't even pretend you don't care about it, man," said Liam. "Seriously, I'm not some random reporter."

"Really?" said Louis. "'Cause it feels like it, the way you're keeping tabs on me."

"I'm trying to look out for you," hissed Liam.

"I don't need-- "

"But you do!" said Liam loudly. "You're making fake Twitter accounts so you can bitch at people, that's not exactly rational behaviour!"

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not exactly a rational person," said Louis, shrugging.

"Really," said Liam dryly. "Your spur-of-the-moment marriage could've fooled me."

"So stop expecting me to-- "

"I'm not _expecting_ anything," said Liam. "I'm just telling you, this isn't the way to deal with it. I _know_ it sucks, I'm here too, okay, and you-- it's going to suck for a while, but you're not going to actually get through it if you keep focusing so hard on all the shit stuff."

Louis blinked at him. "Of course I'm going to get through it," he said. It sounded uncertain though, almost like he was looking for Liam to back him up.

Liam closed his eyes. "I know," he said, opening them again. "It's not going to be like this though."

"I." Louis frowned. "How do you know?"

"Because I know you can't possibly be _that_ much of a twat," said Liam.

Louis huffed a disbelieving laugh.

"Come on," said Liam. "Delete it. Enjoy the bitchy things you've already said, but delete it."

"Fine." Louis sighed.

"And just-- just try to start looking at the other side, okay?" said Liam. "The mascot, and stuff like that. It's shit, but it's not _all_ shit."

"I know," said Louis. "Fuck. Okay, I'll delete it."

"What's going on?" said Harry curiously, dropping into the seat next to Louis with his own plate.

Liam looked at Louis.

"I-- " Louis sighed. "I may have started a fake Twitter account, you know, so I could actually tell people off and stuff, but it's-- I'm going to delete it."

"Let me see," said Harry, holding out his hand.

Louis rolled his eyes again, but handed over the phone.

Harry pulled his lip between his teeth as he read. "Seriously?" he said in the end, handing the phone back.

"Shut up," said Louis. "I was defending your honour."

"I don't know how much 'Go fuck yourself, you pig-nosed fugly twat' is defending my honour."

Louis folded his arms and looked shifty. "He had it coming," he muttered. "Asshole."

Harry grinned. "It's kind of cute," he said. "But you have to stop."

"I know," said Louis. "They won't go away if they know they're getting to me, blah blah blah."

Harry reached over to squeeze his thigh. "You're a good husband," he said quietly.

Louis laughed. He didn't sound convinced.

 

Liam watched Harry and Louis carefully on the trip to Indianapolis. There was something a little off between them-- not too bad, Liam didn't think, they were still _them_ , still freakishly in tune and besotted and everything, but there were also the worried, anxious looks Harry kept shooting Louis when he thought no one was looking, and the way Louis looked at Harry every now and then like he was holding back on saying something he knew he shouldn't.

It wasn't something he could deal with though, like, he didn't know exactly _what_ those looks were about and even if he did, there was only so much you could do when it was someone else's relationship. Plus he was so fucking tired on top of it all. The tour always took it out of him, and that was usually in a good way, sure, but this time there was the added edge of suffocating hostility and his mates having a shit time of it and never knowing quite how to deal with things, never knowing what he could do or how much he _should_ if he did, and he hated not being able to fix things.

In the end he followed Harry and Louis back into the bunks, trusting they were wiped enough not to be shagging obnoxiously like they occasionally (or okay, more than occasionally, but his mates shagging was generally a thing he tried not to think about) did on the bus.

He was curled up and drifting absently towards sleep when he caught onto the thread of Harry and Louis' conversation in the next bunk over. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it wasn't like there was much else to focus on and he'd left his iPod in the front of the bus, so.

"Lou," Harry was saying, "I just-- are you seriously okay?"

"I'm fine," said Louis.

"It's just." Harry paused, probably chewing on his lip like he did when he was unhappy and trying to think of what to say. "You've been acting sort of weird."

There was a rustling noise like Louis was shrugging. "I'm always weird, right?" he said.

"Lou," said Harry.

"Of course I'm okay, we have a toy kitten to be our gay marriage mascot and we're going to get a hat for it because that'll distract us from all the assholes. Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"I know it sucks," said Harry quietly.

"It's easy for you," said Louis bitterly. "You just smile and bat your eyelashes and everyone loves you."

There was a long silence. Liam shook his head despairingly. That explained those looks earlier. "What the fuck," said Harry eventually.

Liam heard another rustling, shrug-like noise, and Louis didn't answer.

"Lou, seriously," said Harry. "Don't tell me you're having self-esteem issues _now._ "

"Of course not," said Louis derisively. "I just mean, you're _nice_ ," he added.

"So are you," said Harry. "Or I wouldn't've married you."

"Really?" said Louis sceptically.

"I-- what?" said Harry.

"You were pissed," said Louis.

"I wasn't when I said I _still wanted to be married to you,_ wanker," said Harry.

There was another long silence, then Louis said, "I'm an asshole, you know?"

"Sometimes," agreed Harry. "I know. I like it. I like _you_."

Louis ground out a frustrated noise, probably scrubbing his hands viciously through his hair or something. "I hate this," he said.

"What?" said Harry quietly.

"This." Louis paused. "Being-- being angry. Being an asshole. Feeling shitty. I want to-- we're _married_. It should be brilliant."

"It is brilliant," said Harry. "I mean, right?"

"Right," said Louis slowly.

"Convincing," said Harry dryly.

"No," said Louis. "You're brilliant. Fuck, Haz. I love you, you know?"

"I know," whispered Harry. "Good. That's-- just think about that, yeah?" He shrugged. "It's what I do."

"Even when I'm being a shit?" said Louis, sounding a little happier, maybe like he was smiling.

"Yep," said Harry, happier as well. "I'm a saint."

"You fucking are," agreed Louis, and then ugh, there was a wet noise like they were kissing.

Liam rolled his eyes at the top of his bunk and pulled a pillow over his head.

They were such a mess, really, a lot of the time, and so young, but they were smarter than they seemed, too. Liam supposed that really, even with all the shitty things that had happened, he still trusted they'd figure it out in the end.

Every new thing needed figuring out, and figuring out always took time.

 

There was no time to breathe in Indianapolis, which was kind of good in a way, because it meant there was also no time to react to any of the protests going on outside the stadium. It was one of the bigger ones they'd encountered, too, and Liam caught the way Harry's eyes widened, the way Louis' eyes went all shrewd and geared up for a fight, before they were ushered away and into cars taking them to a series of interviews, then back to the hotel to sleep, and then onto the bus to drive them to their next stop in Columbus.

Still, it was one of those situations that felt like it might come back to bite them, in a way where Liam didn't think it was going to be easy to shake off or forget-- he knew it wasn't for him, anyway, and that meant it had to be exponentially worse for Harry and Lou.

 

They all slept for most of the drive to Ohio. Liam couldn't figure out whether it was a good or a bad thing, the way sleeping had become something vital not in a re-energising context, but rather because it meant there was no opportunity to be exposed to anymore crap, or to react to the crap they'd already been exposed to.

Louis found him in his hotel room in Columbus, letting himself in with a pilfered keycard after they'd all already said goodnight.

"What's going on?" said Liam sleepily, struggling to sit up in bed.

"This is an intervention," said Louis.

"What?" said Liam. "For who?"

"Me," said Louis. "I'm interventioning myself. Or something."

"Um," said Liam. "I think you've got that sort of backwards."

Louis waved a hand. "Look," he said. "I just-- I need to talk. I think I'm upsetting Harry. I keep-- I keep acting out, and. He's being all quiet and asking if I'm okay and-- I don't know what to do."

Liam sighed. "I heard you guys talking in the bunks, you know," he said. "That-- I don't think it's that bad. You sorted it out okay."

"Yeah, but." Louis bit down on his lip. "I don't think he said everything he wanted to. I don't think I gave him a _chance_ , 'cause I was too busy being such a selfish dick."

"He's just." Louis shook his head. "Harry deals with things differently, you know? He doesn't get all bitchy and aggressive and impulsive like you."

"Thanks," said Louis archly.

"Come on, you know that," said Liam, waving a hand.

"Yeah," said Louis. "I just-- okay, you watch us, right? You know what's going on. Give me some advice, doc."

Liam shook his head thoughtfully."You wanted to be with him, you know?" he said slowly. "That's why you're doing this. I think it's-- you're letting it affect you so much, and maybe he's wondering whether you think he's worth it after all."

"Of course he's worth it!" said Louis furiously.

"I know," said Liam gently. "But you're-- Lou, you're angry almost _all the time_. You just got married, that's not how you're supposed to be. I know this isn't a normal marriage, I know you've got a stupid amount of wank to deal with, but Harry's still supposed to make you happy, even with the shitty things going on. I think you're giving him the impression that being with him makes you-- not happy. You know, overall. Like he doesn't make you as happy as the crap makes you angry."

"He does make me happy though," said Louis blankly.

"Yeah, you're not really showing it," said Liam. "It's easy to _say_ I love you, but it doesn't mean much if you're being pissy and unhappy all the time. That's not what you do when you're in love."

"Fuck," said Louis, staring at the floor.

"What did you-- how did you think it was going to go?" said Liam hesitantly.

Louis shrugged. "I didn't really think," he said slowly. "I just-- I wanted to _make_ everyone back off, you know? I wanted to make them get that it's okay. And then-- and then we could be married and do our thing without anyone bothering us."

"I think," said Liam slowly, "I think-- I mean, Lou, you're _never_ going to bring everyone around. That's like-- that's like a dictatorship or something, you know? It never works, people are always going to have their opinions. I think you just have to be married from the start, and if that's what you want, then fuck what anyone says. The people who support you now are always gonna support you, and if you shut up with trying to make everyone else back off, then the assholes will move onto someone else and leave you two alone, eventually. You'll be old news, unless you keep _making_ yourself news like you have been so far. I'm probably going to regret saying this when you two start shagging it up all over the place again, but you need to just _be_ with Harry. He's the reason you're doing this in the first place, so, you know, make him the reason again. For everything. Just-- stop letting random cunts you don't know make you _un_ happy, and let Harry make you happy."

"Yeah," said Louis, scrubbing a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I mean. He knows I'm like this, but-- "

"You took it too far?" said Liam, arching an eyebrow.

"Maybe," said Louis. "I just-- it has to be out of my system now, right?"

"We can only hope," said Liam.

"What if it isn't though?" said Louis.

"If it isn't-- " Liam tilted his head. "Do something, but don't do what you'd normally do."

"That's-- okay." Louis frowned.

"Get a bracelet," said Liam. "Write 'What Would Liam Do?' on it."

Louis rolled his eyes, but he smiled. "I guess it couldn't hurt," he said. "I'm going to go to bed. Harry's already asleep, but. Thanks."

"Hey," said Liam, reaching out to clap his shoulder. "Any time, okay?"

"Yeah," said Louis, smiling and heading quietly out.

 

They had a same-day show in Columbus and drive to Pittsburgh the next day, which meant there was no time for anything apart from performing and eating and catching some shut-eye during any spare moments between. The show in Pittsburgh wasn't til the next day, so they were allowed a sort of undignified stumble to their respective hotel rooms and Liam was pretty sure even Louis couldn't be relied upon to stay awake any longer than was absolutely necessary.

 

He didn't have a chance to properly see anyone until they were in the dressing room an hour or so before the show was due to start. Louis and Harry weren't there, but that wasn't necessarily unusual. Niall was practising some sort of ridiculous dance move in the corner that Liam fervently wished but didn't really believe wouldn't appear in the show, and Zayn was fucking around on his phone while also managing to look mostly asleep. It was a talent.

He was just texting Louis to check where he was when he heard pounding footsteps heading down the corridor towards them.

"Guys," said Louis frantically, bursting into the dressing room, "Harry's gone."

"What?" said Liam, standing up. Niall and Zayn blinked at Louis.

"He's _gone_ , what do you think I mean?" said Louis sharply.

"Gone can mean a lot of things, fucker," said Zayn. "Gone as in kidnapped, gone as in ran away-- "

"Gone as in I don't fucking know, he's just _not here_ and _not answering his phone_."

"Fuck," said Liam. "Okay, we need to call Paul."

Louis scrubbed a hand through his hair. "You don't think-- Jesus, did you see the protesters outside? What if-- "

"I'm sure he's _fine_ ," said Liam firmly. "Don't get ahead of yourself. Look. Zayn, can you get hold of Paul? Lou and I will look around the place. Maybe he just needed some space."

"Sure," said Zayn, pulling out his phone.

Liam followed Louis from the room, jogging to keep up with him.

"We should make sure he's not still in the building," said Liam. "Paul will take care of the other possibilities."

"Fine," said Louis distractedly. "Where the _hell_ would he be?"

"You could probably figure that out better than me," said Liam.

Louis stopped abruptly, chewing on his lip. "Not inside," he said. "If he wanted to-- he'd want air."

"The roof?" said Liam.

"Yeah," said Louis.

"Okay, stairs are this way," said Liam, grabbing his arm and tugging him down another tunnel.

Louis surged ahead of him in the stairwell and Liam was actually panting by the time he caught the door just before it shut and stepped out into the biting chill of the air up on the roof. It wasn't huge, and he spotted Harry pretty quickly after Louis did, sitting sedentary on a low cement divider on the far side of the area.

"Thank fucking Christ," said Louis breathlessly, skidding to a halt and crouching over his knees to draw in air. "Haz, what the _fuck_ was that?"

"What?" said Harry slowly, blinking at him. His eyes were kind of bloodshot, and coupled with the bruise-like shadows under his eyes, he looked a fucking sight.

Louis straightened and moved to sit next to Harry, curling a hand over one of his wrists. "What's going on?" he said.

Harry shook his head. "Nothing. I mean, it's fine, I just-- I just needed to get away. For a bit."

"This is because of me, isn't it?" said Louis quietly.

"What?" said Harry, lifting his eyes to look at him. They were wide and a little red around the edges too, like he was over-tired or hayfeverish or maybe, maybe like he'd been crying.

"Acting out and-- and pushing you away," said Louis miserably. "Things got shit and so did I, like I said."

"You weren't pushing me away," said Harry, tangling their hands together.

"Haz," whispered Louis.

Harry shrugged. "I know that's how you deal with things," he said.

"Doesn't mean it's okay, or sucks less for you," said Louis.

The corner of Harry's mouth twitched. "Yeah," he said.

Louis twisted a little to face Harry's profile and pressed his forehead to Harry's temple. "I'm sorry," he said. "I-- I was going to talk to you about this. You know, apologise, and. Tell you I'm done acting out. I want to be better. You make me happy, and I told you, I'm sick of being angry."

Harry bit down on his lip. "It wasn't all you," he said. "It wasn't even mostly you."

"Tell me then," said Louis.

"Just-- everything," said Harry. "The same shit you were acting out over. This is just-- just me dealing with it, I guess."

Louis was silent for a moment, watching Harry. Then he pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You need to stop bottling things up so much, Curly," he said.

"You need to _start_ bottling things up," said Harry.

Louis grinned. "Maybe you should teach me," he said.

Harry tilted his head. "We could teach each other," he said. "That's what you do, right? When you're married?"

"I don't know." Louis shrugged. "Can't say I've ever been married before."

Harry nudged him with his elbow, smiling. "We need to stop caring so much about what people say, you know?" he said, ducking his head thoughtfully.

"I know," said Louis. "Easier said than done though, especially for you."

Harry raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, shut up," said Louis. "You're right though. People are shit."

"They're the worst," agreed Harry. "Apart from, you know, most of our fans," he amended quickly.

Louis started giggling. "Remember how I said I was glad I married you?" he said.

"Yeah," said Harry, starting to smile slowly.

"Still am," said Louis.

"Me too," said Harry.

"Ringbump?" said Louis.

"What?" Harry furrowed his brows.

"You know, like a fistbump, except for married people. With rings."

Harry let out a startled laugh and shook his head, curls dropping over his forehead. "You're mental," he said, but curled his left hand into a fist and bumped it against Louis', rings clinking.

"Yep," said Louis, grinning. "And you're stuck with me. Lucky you, right?"

"Yeah," said Harry quietly, eyes warm and fixed on Louis' face. It was so fucking sincere, Liam felt like he should look away or something.

Louis leaned in to kiss Harry. "This is good," he said, pulling back. "It's going to be better. No more acting out or _running away_ or caring what people think."

"Tour's over soon," agreed Harry, nodding.

"Things'll die down once we're not so busy," said Louis. "And this isn't going to be news forever."

"You forgot that, didn't you," said Harry accusingly.

"Shut it, wanker. I got caught up," said Louis haughtily, but he laughed.

"We're good though, right?" said Harry, a bit hesitantly.

"Always," said Louis, squeezing his hand. "I'm sorry I'm a shit. I'll be better."

"Don't," said Harry. "I sort of like you."

Louis leaned into him.

"Guys," said Liam quietly. They blinked, startled, and looked at him. "I know it's probably the last thing either of you need, but we have to-- we have to get back."

"Right," said Louis. "The show." He sighed.

"Hey," said Harry. "Our fans are awesome, remember?"

"And so are we." Louis nodded.

Harry bit down on his lip. "Sorry I ran away," he said to both of them.

Liam waved a hand. "Forget about it," he said. "I would have, too."

"Hey," said Louis suddenly. "I have a totally brilliant idea."

"Jesus," said Liam.

"Hear me out, fucker," said Louis. "You guys, right, like, you and Niall and Zayn, you can take over dealing with the world for like, a week or something, right?"

"I-- what?" said Liam.

"Just." Louis waved. "The dickheads giving us shit. If Harry and I go off Twitter for a week, and don't do any interviews and shit, you guys can handle it, right?"

"Yeah," said Liam, nodding slowly. "Yeah, we can."

"Hey, who says I want to go off Twitter?" said Harry.

"I do. As your husband," said Louis.

"You're not the boss of me," said Harry, giggling.

Louis elbowed him and shrugged. "It'd be good, right? We never really got a chance to, like, settle into this by ourselves before everything else happened."

"I," said Harry. "Yeah, it'd be good."

"Yeah?" said Louis, looking questioningly at Liam.

"I'm going to write this down," said Liam. "The first good idea you've ever had."

"Funny," said Louis dryly, rolling his eyes. He glanced at Harry and tilted his head. "Second, maybe," he added.

Harry smiled, slow-blooming and completely besotted.

"God, I think my teeth are actually rotting," said Liam. "Come on, idiots. Let's go."

Louis stood and held out his hand to Harry. "The show must go on," he intoned.

Harry laughed and took his hand. "The band though," he said, standing.

Liam didn't really get what he meant until Louis stepped up close to Harry and thumbed at his bottom lip, smiling quietly and saying, "Yeah. I'm the only one who gets this."

Harry ducked in to kiss him.

Liam smiled to himself and turned away, listening out to make sure they followed.

 

He didn't feel at all conflicted about thinking the show that night was easily the best of the tour so far. Louis smiled the entire time and played with the crowd and pranced around like a bit of a maniac, and Harry was kind of quiet but oh so flirty, mostly with Louis but with the crowd too when he could drag his eyes away from Lou. _Live While We're Young_ was the second-last song of the encore, and Liam didn't have Louis in his sights at that particular moment so the only indicator he had that something was going on was when Lou's voice dropped off the feedback during the last chorus, and he turned around to see him marching across the stage with his mic hanging limply by his side and a sort of determined smirk playing across his lips.

Liam cottoned on when he was about halfway to Harry, but the audience didn't until Louis had actually taken hold of Haz with a hand on either side of his face and kissed him long and firm and thorough, right on the mouth and not at all chaste, if the way it made Harry clutch helplessly, reflexively at his hips was any indication.

Liam actually trailed off his line and left it to Zayn and Niall to keep the song afloat, because Louis had pulled back and the look on Harry's face-- Liam couldn't quite catch his breath for how proud he was of both of them right at that moment.

They couldn't really hear anything then because of how the crowd was going mental; even the earpieces weren't much help. Zayn made the executive decision to cut the encore and leave it hanging on _Live While We're Young_ and the kiss, which Liam thought was a pretty nice idea, actually, like, totally in line with how they all felt about this whole thing.

Lou was grinning, pink-cheeked and breathless, swinging off of Harry's hand as they crowded into the dressing room.

"Nice one, mate," said Niall approvingly. Louis beamed at him.

"I know, right? Don't know why we haven't done that earlier."

Liam raised an eloquent eyebrow at him.

Louis made a face. "Shut up," he said. "Seriously, the only tough bit was figuring out which song I should choose. Like, they're all sort of relevant, you know?" He grinned at Harry.

Harry shook his head and rolled his eyes and smiled helplessly all at once. It was about as cute as it was spastic.

"Anyway," said Liam, "I want to talk to these two." He indicated Zayn and Niall. "So bugger off."

"What?" said Harry.

Zayn laughed. "Yeah," he said. "Single people only meeting. Get out."

Harry raised his eyebrows. Louis looked intensely offended. "Mates aren't supposed to go weird when other mates get married," he said sternly.

Niall rolled his eyes. "Shut up," he said. "Go shag or something, we're busy and you're not invited."

Harry and Louis stared with twin half-baffled, half-offended faces.

"Come on, Haz," said Louis eventually, haughty. "Let's go have mind-blowing sex. You know," he added to Liam, Niall and Zayn, "Sex? Like you guys aren't having? It's awesome, you should try it sometime."

Harry snorted out a laugh and let Louis drag him from the room.

"What's going on?" said Niall as soon as they were gone, turning to Liam.

"I just thought." Liam shrugged. "When we found Harry up on the roof, you know, Lou asked if we could sort of take over interviews and stuff so they could have a bit of time to themselves. I thought we could go one better than that."

"Lock them in a cupboard for a week?" said Zayn.

Liam punched his shoulder. "Wanker," he said. "No, I thought we could get them a wedding present."

"Like what?" said Niall, frowning.

"A honeymoon," said Liam.

"Oh my God," said Niall, eyes widening. "Li, you're actually brilliant."

"I know," said Liam, waving a hand. "So are you guys good to chip in?"

"'Course," said Zayn. "Where are we going to send them?"

"I haven't really thought that far ahead," said Liam, shrugging. "I can sort something out though. I just wanted to check, you know."

"I'll help," said Niall. "I'm an expert on romance."

Liam and Zayn snorted in tandem.

 

"This is just like Vegas all over again," said Niall as the bus inched its way through peak-hour New York traffic. "Guys, guys, let's all go out and you can get married again properly!"

"Getting married in New York is proper?" said Harry blankly.

"Getting married with me as your best man is proper," said Niall.

"I can't though," said Harry. "Mum's already gone off her rocker because I got married once without her there. If I do it again she'll actually disown me."

Louis laughed. "Maybe we can renew our vows in Holmes Chapel," he said.

"Maybe," said Harry, tipping his head back to smile at him.

"Hey, guys," said Liam, "Don't go straight off and shag when we get to the hotel. We need to talk to you."

Usually he respected the bro-code (Zayn's words, not his) and stayed way, way out of his mates' sex lives, but Harry and Louis were sort of all over each other in the way they generally were not long before they disappeared and came back some length of time later looking disturbingly disheveled and satisfied, so he felt like he should say something. He'd decided, with Niall and Zayn, that they should give them their honeymoon present once they arrived, so.

"About what?" said Louis suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.

"Nothing bad, don't worry," said Niall, smirking knowingly.

Louis continued to stare closely at all three of them until the bus stopped in front of the hotel.

 

"So what did you need to talk to us about?" demanded Louis, marching into Liam's room with his hands on his hips.

"If this is about the condom on the bus," said Harry, "That definitely one hundred per cent wasn't me."

"It's not-- wait, _what_ condom on the bus?"

"Oh," said Harry. "Um, nothing."

Liam opened his mouth, decided he really, _really_ didn't want to know, closed it again, then said, "We got you guys a wedding present."

"You-- what?" Louis blinked and Liam grinned. He looked completely thrown, for once.

"A wedding present," he said. "We're your best mates-- "

"-- And bandmates," added Niall.

"-- _And_ bandmates," Liam continued. "Did you think we wouldn't get you a present?"

"We...didn't really think about it at all?" said Harry.

"Well, you're getting one," said Zayn.

Niall nodded and shuffled forward kind of awkwardly with the envelope, handing it to Harry.

"What is it?" said Louis, stretching onto his toes to peer over Harry's shoulder.

"They got us-- " Harry trailed off and looked up. "You got us a honeymoon?"

"You got us a honeymoon?" echoed Louis, gaping.

Liam shrugged. "We thought you could use it," he said. "You said you wanted a break and everything, so."

"Li," said Louis quietly, peering at the tickets in Harry's hand.

"Atlantic City?" said Harry, raising an eyebrow.

"It's the best we could do on short notice, fuck off," said Niall.

Louis shook his head. "Guys, that's-- " He shook his head and finished quietly, "Thanks. I don't-- I don't really deserve it, I know I've been a shit, but-- "

"Shut up," said Liam. "It's for both of you. We love you guys, okay? Don't make me say it again."

Louis grinned. "You won't be able to help it," he said, lurching forward to hug Liam.

Harry nodded and stepped in to wrap his arms around Louis from behind, grabbing onto Liam with his fingertips.

"Aw, group hug," said Niall, pressing up against Liam's back. "Get in here, Zayner."

Zayn rolled his eyes but came at them with enough force that they stumbled back several feet across the room, one big mess of ducked heads and happy smiles and tangled limbs.


End file.
